It's not culture shock, it's just depression

I've been to Europe about half a dozen times, and I've never really experienced the "typical" culture shock. Although it varies from person to person, I really can't say I've ever felt it completely. Of course there have been times when I get frustrated with German bureaucracy or wish I could meet more people, but I've never idealized one culture over another. There are times that I miss things like cheddar cheese or mexican food or being able to shop 24/7, but I've never missed "home" so much that it's debilitating. In general, I try to make the best out of any situation by smiling when I want to cry, and laughing when I want to scream. With all that, the past few weeks have been very emotional for me. I've allowed myself to wonder if I would feel any different were I still back home, but I know my location has little to do with my problems.

Six teenage boys killed themselves in the past few weeks because they were bullied for being "different". In these cases, different means gay. They ranged from age 13-18, they were just children. They were tortured for being who they are, and in the end they felt the only option they had was to take their own life. On top of all the other personal issues I've had on my mind, these boys' stories have been in the front of my mind and heart. I remember being 14-years old, and keeping it a secret that I had a girlfriend. I knew that I would be bullied and shunned if classmates found out. After a month, I left her for a boy. Being bisexual is both a blessing and a curse. For years I was able to avoid persecution because I focused on my attraction toward men, but there was still a part of me that I was denying by not accepting who I was. But these brave boys did not try to hide who they were. They were not ashamed, because they had nothing to be ashamed of. There are, however, people who should be ashamed. The bullies should be ashamed. The parents who raised their children with such backward ideology should be ashamed. The educators who did nothing to promote a safe, open, welcoming environment should be ashamed. The politicians who say gays have no place in our military and no right to a happy marriage with the person they love should be ashamed. The religious leaders who use the pulpit to preach hate should be ashamed.

I know that eventually I'll work my way out of this rut, but hearing about these tragedies makes it challenging for me. I hope that everyone makes an effort to educate people and show compassion. In the end, I am blessed to have a supportive and loving group of family and friends who accept me regardless of who I love.