Jacque in Jakarta: My Anniversary

On July 14, my husband and I will be celebrating our first year of marriage. We'll be going to Yogyakarta, the cultural capital of Java, and we'll get to see Borobudur, the largest Buddhist temple in the world. I'm super excited about both of those experiences, but above all I'm excited about celebrating our anniversary. Especially since I didn't dream that day would come.

I guess you could say my husband and I have the traditional story with a slight twist. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, they live in denial, they confess their love, they get married. But to add our twist it was more like: British boy meets American girl, they fall in love in Germany, they live in denial on opposite sides of the Atlantic, they confess their love over a Skype call, they get married in England on Bastille Day. That part of our story is complicated enough, but there were a few added complications.

To be honest, we didn't have the money to get married. Well, we didn't have the money to have a wedding. Logically, if you don't have money, you shouldn't get married. However, I don't think logic has ever been in a trans-Atlantic relationship. For those of you who have suffered long distance, you know it's just not an option for the long run. So we decided to get married without money, which means we eloped.

Our grand idea was that we would just elope and then eventually save the money for a big wedding. Of course, that didn't make everyone happy. There were family members who were hurt that they couldn't sit with us in the tiny registry office to watch us exchange rings and vows. And I'll admit, we were a bit deluded. We kept saying, "it's only the legal bit, the big celebration for family will be later." We had in our mind that our love was too special, too big for that tiny registry office and we wanted to celebrate with the whole world...when we had the money.

Looking back, I realize that hindsight really is 20/20. It may have been a mistake to bar people from that legal ceremony. Even with the best of intentions, we ended up unwittingly hurting people we love, which is not something either of us would ever want to do.

That being said, even though there may be some things that I regret, the most important thing I don't regret. I don't regret marrying the man that I love. I feel so privileged and proud that I get to call Alexander Paul Ayton my husband. I never dreamed that I would find such a perfect match for me and I thank God every day for giving me such a wonderful husband. He's not perfect, but neither am I. And our imperfections compliment each other completely.

I love you, Alexander.