Home

Alexander and I recently spoke with an immigration attorney in the U.K. and discovered that in order for us to live there, we would have to be separated for a time. The attorney said Alex would have to get a job in the U.K. and work for at least a month before I could file my documents to process a visa which would take a few more weeks. During that time, I would have to be in the U.S. and so I would be separated from my husband for a few months, or even longer if my visa were denied. We couldn't go through all that. Not again.

After this news, I talked to my grandma about our current plan, which is to stay in Poland indefinitely. My grandma did NOT take the news lightly. She hates the thought of her grandkids being bullied, and that is effectively what is happening by the UK Border Agency. We can't live where we want to live because because my passport isn't from the "right" country, so we're being bullied into staying somewhere we never intended to live. I'm not complaining about Poland, it's a nice place, but it's not where we saw ourselves settling. So, through tears and sobs my grandma cried, "Why can't you just come home?"

Home.

Dictionary.com defines this noun as:

a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.

By this definition, my home is Kostrzyn nad Odra, Poland, so, grandma, I am home. Of course, that's not what grandma meant. The second definition is:

the place in which one's domestic affections are centered.

By this definition, my affections (fond attachment, devotion, or love) lie with my husband, who lives in Kostrzyn nad Odra, Poland, so, once again, I am home. Yet, this was also not what grandma meant.

When my grandma made her tearful request, she meant I should just take myself and my husband and move to the U.S. The problem is, quite simply, that's not our home. My husband is British with family in the U.K., his parents live in France, our first home as a married couple was Indonesia, my family lives all over the U.S, and we now live in Poland. What is our home?

Excuse me, dictionary.com, but I have my own definition of home, which can't be summarized with a cursory handful of words. Home is waking up to my husband's kisses and a cup of coffee. Home is teasing my husband about losing his British vocabulary after time away from his native country. Home is trying new recipes and having my husband devour each one of them, even when they don't turn out quite right. Home is arguing over who should wash the dishes or take out the trash and then laughing over such silly arguments (perhaps after a few hours of moping). Home is falling asleep next to my husband and grabbing him in the night when I have a bad dream. Home is happiness, laughter, and love.

And I beg your pardon, U.K. Border Agency, but you have no right to separate a home.

Willkommen in Polska: Driving Myself Crazy

The last time I got my driver's license renewed was on January 15, 2010. I was living in Arkansas, so I got my license there. Within eight months, I had moved to Germany to work for a year, after that I moved to Washington, DC to work for a year, then I move to England, where I got married, and then I moved to Jakarta, Indonesia for a year. All that adds up to three years, eight months and a name change. Since Arkansas licenses expire every four years, I needed to return to Arkansas to renew my license and change my name...but I didn't.

When I looked into renewal, the information I found stated that only military personnel could renew their licenses by mail. I have since discovered that is not entirely accurate, but I decided that I should just get a Polish license since I am now living in Poland. I figured it would be a simple exchange of my American license for a Polish one. However, there was nothing simple about the process of getting a Polish license.

The process started about a month before my license was due to expire. We went to the local version of the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) and asked about how to renew. I had to fill out a two-page form, turn in a copy of my driver's license, Polish residence card and a picture showing my right ear (no idea why they don't do biometric photos here). It seemed to be straight-forward enough and I expected my new license in two weeks.

A few days later, we received a call that an American driver's license can't be transferred so easily. The U.S. is not one of the 67 contracting parties of the U.N.'s Vienna Convention on Road Traffic, which was put in place to make road traffic safer and more uniform. In layman's terms, Americans don't know how to properly drive in a country outside of their own (some would argue Americans don't know how to drive, period). What did all this mean for me? It meant I had to take a theory test here in Poland.

There are many steps involved before you can take your test here. First, I had to get a physical done. Of course there was an eye test, but they also checked my blood pressure, blood sugar and medical history. I was asked about diseases, drinking, smoking and other things that my translator struggled with. Then, I had to take the form I got from the physical to my local DMV. Two days later, I received a number. I had to take that number to Gorzow, which is about 45 minutes away, in order to book an appointment for my test. While there, we found out that I needed an official translator for my test, even though it would be in English. So I had to book a translator for the test as well. Finally, I had to order materials to study for the test.

When the materials arrived, I was honestly shocked to find a 110 page booklet +DVD-Rom that had 1290 practice questions. This is not an exaggeration. There were 1290 questions. I answered all of them. And I read the book. Twice. I did all this over the course of 10 days. I was ready for my test.

The test consist of 32 questions. Twenty questions are yes/no and twelve are multiple choice. You are given 25 minutes to complete the test and you have a set amount of time for each question. The questions range from 1-3 points and the total amount of points is 74. You are required to get 68 points. This averages to about a 92%. When I took the test, I got a 91%. I failed by ONE point.

This meant that I had to take the test for a second time. I had to pay for a second test, and I had to pay for the translator to come back. By the way, the translation I needed was basically, "This is a driving test. The rules are on your computer. Good luck." So after a weekend of moping, I went back for the second test 3 days later.

When I showed my passport, the test proctor noticed I was from Arkansas and Bill Clinton was mentioned. Many other test-takers requested a different computer number from the one they had previously failed on. In the exam just before mine, everyone failed. It is a very difficult test. So, once the test started, I read every question two or three times. One of the questions was even a repeat of a question I had missed on my first test. My result on the second test was positive. I received a 70/74.

In the coming week I should receive my Polish driving license. Between that and my marriage certificate, it seems I'm slowly becoming more Polish and less American. I must say that I am happy to receive a license which will be recognized in 67 countries. However, with hindsight I would advise other Americans to just go home for a renewal!

Willkommen in Polska: A trip to Warsaw

Stop in Krzyż before Warsaw

Just after the new year, we hopped on a train and headed to Warsaw. Actually, it wasn't that easy. First, we had to buy the tickets. Back in Jakarta, this would have been a fairly simple matter. Although we are nowhere near fluent in Bahasa Indonesia, in the first two months we could communicate well enough to buy tickets at a train station. Yet here in Kostrzyn, buying tickets was truly an event.

At first, I apologized and explained I was American. I then asked if the lady could speak English or German. No. What about Spanish or French? Definitely not. I don't think I can properly put into words how infuriating it is for a couple with four fluent/nearly fluent languages to not be able to communicate.We somehow managed. I knew Piątek, the day we wanted to leave, and dwa, the number of days we wanted to go, and of course Warszawa, our destination. The rest of it was done with the calendar on our cell phone, lots of hand motions, and slow speaking on the end of the ticket office lady. About 15 minutes and 470 Złotych later we had our tickets to and from Warsaw.

I have had so many troubling experiences while travelling by train (getting on the wrong train, arriving late, getting locked in a toilet), that I was certain this trip would have complications. Surprisingly, it was incredibly drama-free. We arrived safely in Warsaw at the correct station, and the trip back was just as painless.

Warsaw is a very cosmopolitan city. Everyone from the hotel concierge to the kebab-shop employee could speak English. It was refreshing. We always started with a polite dzień dobry, but were able to transition to English and be understood. That being said, Warsaw still has some work to do in order to fully join the international order.

Although most of the people spoke English, there were signs in major tourist spots that only sported Polish.

No Foreign languages here!

In many other capital cities, you can find a range of languages. Washington, DC will almost always have Spanish and quite often there is German or French on tourist sites. In Berlin, it is relatively easy to find English and French. However, Warsaw seems to be lagging on the tourist front. Even the map from the tourist office was in Polish.

Part of Warsaw's sluggish inclusion into the international community seems to be its historical relationship with the former Soviet Union and its previous inclusion in the Eastern Bloc. This can be witnessed in the case of older sites, where Russian and German are more likely to be found than English. However, with the fall of the U.S.S.R., Poland seemed more than happy to welcome Capitalism. This should come as no surprise seeing as there was much resistance against the U.S.S.R. in Poland.

Warsaw shows an unnatural juxtaposition of East and West. It highlights the Capitalist dilemma within Communism. You can find a Coca-Cola sign (perhaps one of the most encompassing images of Capitalism)
situated directly on top of a building of obvious Communist architecture. As the saying goes, a picture says a thousand words, and I think this picture describes Warsaw in a way no words fully can.

Just as the country of which it is the capital, Warsaw is up-and-coming. It has a plethora of hot spots to offer and I think it's one of Europe's best kept secrets. Part of the reason the flood gates of tourists haven't opened into this vibrant city is because it is still struggling with assimilation into Western Europe. Half the battle is beating the stigmatization caused by political mouthpieces *cough* David Cameron *cough* Tory party *cough*cough*, but the other half is creating a city that accommodates non-Polish tourists.

I hope in the next decade Warsaw, and Poland, will reach its potential.

Travels 2013

This past year has been filled with lots of traveling and amazing adventures for me. Here's the list of places traveled in 2013:

Bali

Carita Beach (Indonesia)-January: We rang in the New Year at Carita Beach with lots of fireworks and a view of Krakatoa.

Bogor (Indonesia)-March: We saw the famed Botanical Gardens during Easter weekend.

Yogyakarta (Indonesia)-July: To celebrate our first year of marriage, we visited Java's famed cultural capital and also paid a visit to Borobudur and Prambanan.

Bali (Indonesia)-September: After a year in Indonesia we hopped on a flight to the amazing island and visited Legian, Kuta and Jimbaran beaches. We also managed a quick look at Ubud.

Narita (Japan)-September: Once we finished our contract in Jakarta, we headed to the US via Narita. We also had a splendid view of Mount Fuji.

Baltimore

Washington, DC (USA)- September: We spent nearly two weeks with family and friends in the area.

Baltimore, MD/Gettysburg, PA (USA)- September: We took a day trip to visit these sites.

Martha's Vineyard, MA (USA)- October: We stopped the night in New Bedford, MA and then continued the journey to the island to see my grandparents.

Reykjavik (Iceland)/Copenhagen (Denmark)/Berlin (Germany)/ Kostrzyn (Poland)- October: After spending time with family we took a trip with many layovers before finally arriving in our new home of Kostrzyn.

Berlin (Germany)- October, November, December: Being less than two hours from the Germany capital has allowed us to visit several times including once for Alexander's birthday.

Berlin 

Strasbourg (France)- November: We went to meet up with family at the halfway point of Strasbourg.

Freiburg (Germany)- November: I visited Freiburg several times when I was living in the area and this was the first time with my husband. It's still a beautiful city.

Nürnberg (Germany)- November: We stopped for a tasty lunch on our way back home from France.

Frankfurt an der Oder (Germany)- November, December: We regularly visit for church services and a very tasty Indian restaurant.

Duisburg (Germany)- December: We stayed the night here twice on our way going to and coming from England.

Calais (France)- December: We caught the ferry here on our way to and from England.

Dover (England)- December: I was able to see the breath-taking white cliffs of Dover going and coming. Unfortunately, the weather wasn't very cooperative.

Hamburg

Redditch (England)- December: We celebrated Christmas with family for the first time in two years. It was pretty wonderful.

London (England)- December: We got to see even more family just after Christmas.

Kortemark (Belgium)- December: I had the chance to see the town where my grandfather grew up.

Hamburg (Germany)- December: We rang in the New Year with fireworks at the Rathaus.

2013 has been a very busy and eventful year. We started a new job, moved halfway across the world, and saw many unforgettable sights. I'm looking forward to 2014 and what it has in store. We already know we'll be starting the year with a trip to Warsaw and in July we'll finally have the blessing of our marriage. Who knows what else this new year will bring?

Willkommen in Polska: 'Tis the Season

The Christmas tree is up, the Christmas music is playing and the Christmas presents are being bought. It's once again the most wonderful time of the year and this year will be much different than last. As I wished for last year, this year I'm experiencing a real winter at Christmas time, which is exciting since I haven't seen snow in nearly two years.

Since Poland is predominantly a Christian country, everyone seems to be getting into the season. The street lights are decorated and stores are dedicating half their shops to Christmas products. Next door in Germany, there are Christmas markets selling gifts, ornaments and, of course, Glühwein.

Although I'm thousands of miles from my hometown of Fayetteville, Arkansas, I have to admit that the Christmas experience is quite similar on this side of the Atlantic (even though the southern part of the U.S. is experiencing more wintery weather than Poland at the moment).

With this flurry of life, joy and celebration, I have to pause a moment to think of the other side. There are plenty of people who don't partake in the festivities of Christmas. Some because they don't want to, but an enormous amount because they aren't able to. Children who don't have access to proper education or warm meals can't possibly expect to experience the joy of the season. In a world full of instant gratification and exuberant luxuries, I just can't go along with the idea that there will be children without something as simple as something to eat on Christmas.

So, for this holiday season I've decided to raise money for World Vision. From now until my birthday, on January 15, I have set the goal to raise enough money to feed 15 families for one month. This breaks down as £30 for one family for one month, so over the next 5 weeks I plan to raise £450. That means for one month a family won't have to worry about where the next meal is coming from. For one month a child will receive the necessary nutrients for survival. For one month there will be joy that people have come together to make life for another person a little easier.

I hope you can find it in your heart to spread the joy of the season and donate to this cause.

Willkommen in Polska: Lingua Franca

Our monthiversary in Poland was this past Sunday. We have been able to pick up some basic Polish vocabulary (I'm American/British, numbers 1-10, some food), but, unfortunately, Polish is a very complicated language to learn for native English speakers. On the plus side, our German background tends to give us a lingua franca, since we are less than 5 kilometers to the nearest German town. That being said, I have had a Polish friend get upset about me speaking German when my native language is English, and there have been several people around the town who pretend they can't speak German although they accidentally let a few German words slip when they have tried to communicate with me. So, it isn't always recommended to automatically ask, "Sprechen Sie deutsch".

Why?

Well, it takes some historical explanations. For those who don't know much about Polish history (myself included until about a month ago), here's an incredibly brief breakdown. The first establishment of a Polish state was around 966 AD and the Kingdom of Poland was created in 1025. Over a few hundred centuries, several empires rose and basically demolished what was once Poland, with each empire taking various bits of the metaphorical Polish pie. Then, World War I happened, and Poland claimed it's independence with the end of the war on November 11, 1918 (the Second Polish Republic). After that, things were cool for a few decades until the jerk called Hitler came along and invaded Poland. That was the start of WWII, "The Big One" (as my grandma used to say). After the Allies defeated the Axis, Poland was given over to Communist Russia (even though they didn't like it), and Fawlty Towers was given a punch line. Fast forward to the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989, and Poland was once again independent and established the Third Polish Republic. If this was so fascinating that you want to know more, ask Wikipedia.

So, back to the original question of why we shouldn't jump to German in our daily conversations in Poland, and the answer is, well, Hitler invaded Poland. I am a strong opponent of stereotypes of any sort, but unfortunately for Germany, Hitler claimed to be acting on their behalf. I know some people would say, "That's ancient history. What's done is done. Let's move on." and the sentiment is nice enough. However, the wounds still seem to be quite fresh. Let's not forget that Auschwitz is located in Poland and there are still people alive who can remember the atrocities of the war.

With all that, I'm very happy to have a language with which I can communicate with the people where I'm living, but I also try to be as patient as possible when they lie about speaking or understanding German. It's a very touchy subject and I'd rather not be responsible for opening up old wounds.

Willkommen in Polska: Bureaucracy

As a non-EU citizen coming into the EU, things can be pretty tricky. Since I'm married to an EU-citizen, things are a bit easier, but, nevertheless, still incredibly complicated. This post is meant to be a bit of a warning for any other couples about to enter the process of EU bureaucracy. Keep in mind that it is different in each EU country, which is a large part of the issue.

Once Alexander was registered here in Poland, it was my turn to go through registration. We had to fill out a 4-page form in Polish (luckily with the help of our boss) which included information about my parents, my physical characteristics, my residence, my citizenship and various other tidbits. I had to take 5 passport size photos which showed my left ear and we had to turn in copies of my passport, Alexander's passport, Alexander's work contract, Alexander's registration documents and our marriage certificate. Things went smoothly with all but two things.

Firstly, the people at the regional registration office were pretty clueless about how to deal with a non-EU citizen wanting to register. It's not something that happens often in this area, and I'm guessing it would have been much smoother in Warsaw. The second issue was with our marriage certificate. According to EU law, there should be no problems if documentation is in English. Apparently, we've researched more about EU law than the people at the office have, so they wanted it in Polish. The other problem with the marriage certificate was the validity. They explained that since it was dated July 14, 2012 (the date of our marriage), there was no way to confirm we were still married. They needed confirmation that we were STILL married. Yeah...

We were able to go to the next step without proving our marriage (I was contemplating staging a make-out protest), although it took borderline hysterics on my part. We then had to register me in our local town, Kostrzyn, where we live. Once again, there was a problem with the marriage certificate. This time, they insisted we translate it to Polish. So, we went to a local translation place and went back to the office to get registered. Everything was in order, I got registered locally and received the necessary documentation to officially register with Warsaw, and before leaving the office we asked for our marriage certificate. The answer was they keep our marriage certificate. THEY keep OUR marriage certificate...

This time it was full-blown hysterics, which did nobody any good. In exchange for our British marriage certificate, we were given a Polish one. A Polish marriage certificate for two people who aren't Polish, don't speak Polish, and weren't married in Poland. My honeymoon bubble had official burst at this point. On the bright side, we were informed that if we got an official copy from the UK, then they would give us back our original copy...but I still find the whole process utterly ridiculous.

In the end, I am officially registered in Kostrzyn and awaiting my Polish residence card from Warsaw, which should be arriving in the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, I'm hoping to learn enough Polish to understand what my marriage certificate says.

Willkommen in Polska: The Honeymoon

Our first morning in Kostrzyn, I looked out our window and smiled. We have a beautiful tree full of autumnal colors. I told Alexander I was so excited because I would actually get to have a honeymoon phase, which didn't happen in Jakarta.

View from our window

We arrived on a Thursday and started the official paperwork for Alex on the Friday, so we got to drive through the beautiful forests of the region we're now living in. On the Saturday, we were able to get things to cook on our stove with and bake in our oven with. It was fantastic to be able to cook a proper meal with a four-burner stove top. On the Sunday, we went with our boss to his family church and met a lot of his family, and on the Monday, we started work.

On the walk to work

We walked 3.5 kilometers to work and about one kilometer of the walk was through a forest. The students here are about the same as students anywhere else. As with most foreign language learners, they tend to revert to their native language. The first week I was able to teach English, German and Spanish to students from the age of  6 to 50+, so it hasn't been boring. It's been especially exciting to be able to use the languages that I studied and got my degree in.

One of the first things I noticed about Kostrzyn was the deutsch. Due to its closeness to Germany, Kostrzyn has German on so many signs and several people here kann ein bisschen deutsch, which has made things a little smoother when it comes to transitioning here.

The first week in Kostrzyn was truly awesome. It was great to breath fresh air, and be surrounded by fall colors, and hear leaves crunching under my feet and raining onto the rooftops. However, in our second week we started to deal with a lot of bureaucracy, such as registering me, a non-EU citizen, to live in Poland. All the bureaucracy meant my honeymoon phase was quickly over...but it was great when it lasted.

A trip to the other side of the world: Take two (Part 2)

Washington, D.C. was beautiful and much warmer than we had expected. After a year of 32°C (90°F), we were expecting to freeze in 22°C (72°F), but DC actually got pretty warm during the days while we were there.

Visiting DC, was actually a bit of a culture shock. As much as we love the friends we made in Jakarta, Jakarta wasn't the easiest place to live. The macet, banjir dan polusi, in Jakarta made for a love/hate relationship: I loved the people, but hated the city. So when we were walking around DC, Alexander and I made some interesting comments, such as "Wow, it's great to breath", "Look! We can walk on the sidewalk" and "Wait, where are the motorbikes?". Other people also noticed our culture shock when we were amazed at the selection in the grocery store and accidentally said terima kasih.

with Brandon

in Baltimore

Our first weekend in DC, we were visited by one of my best friends, Brandon, which was lucky, since he got to see DC before the government shutdown. We were able to stay with my grandma Annie at my brothers' Dwayne and Christopher's
apartment in DC. They have an amazing apartment with a great view. We were also able to go to Baltimore in Maryland and Gettysburg Battlefield in Pennsylvania. Our second, and last, weekend we got to see my grandparents, who live on Martha's Vineyard. My grandma Ethel is 90-years old and still kicking with the help of my grandpa Ralph. I also got to meet my brother R.J. for the first time ever, which was amazing. It was incredibly emotional and something I've dreamed of my whole life.

with RJ

After spending so much time with so much family it was hard to say goodbye, but after 13 short days, we had to say goodbye again and leave for our next destination: Poland (via Reykjavik, Copenhagen, Berlin).

Since the flights weren't as long as our original flights from Jakarta, we didn't get as tired, and generally everything went rather smoothly. We were only in Reykjavik for about an hour, and I was worried we would miss the connection (but we didn't). The Copenhagen airport was incredibly expensive. We had about 7 hours for our layover, so we bought some lunch and spent almost 50USD for two sandwiches and two drinks. It was about 9 p.m. when we got into Berlin and, luckily, our boss agreed to pick us up and take us to our new home. We got to Kostrzyn just before midnight and decided to unpack. We checked four bags at the airport and the TSA went through three of them. Apparently it's suspicious to fly from DC to Berlin with four checked bags.

Once we unpacked almost everything, we were finally able to sleep....and start to enjoy the honeymoon phase of life in Poland.

A trip to the other side of the world: Take two (Part 1)

Last year, Alexander and I took a trip to the other side of the world, which was from France to Jakarta, Indonesia. This year, we took our second trip to the other side of the world, from Jakarta to Poland. We now live in a little town on the Oder River called Kostrzyn nad Odra.

Our trip started several weeks ago, when we left from the Jakarta airport on our way to Washington, D.C., via Tokyo. We arrived in plenty of time, thanks to our friends Helen and Andy, and quickly made it through the lax security and baggage check. Once we got to immigration, we were told we had to fill out a landing card. It didn't matter that we had already lived in Jakarta for a year, we had to fill out a landing card like someone who was just visiting for a few weeks. After getting over my frustrations about that, things went smoothly through immigration. Once we passed immigration, we had planned to find our gate and then get something to eat. Our gate was on the other side of more security, where there was no place to eat and no bathrooms. So, we started the flight hungry, frustrated and tired, since it was nearly 10 pm. Nevertheless, we decided to take a picture at boarding...and the camera batteries died.

It's incredibly disappointing that we didn't have a camera on the trip from Jakarta to Tokyo, because we were able to see Mount Fuji from the plane, so imagine that this picture was taken on a plane, by me:






Once we got to Tokyo, or Narita International airport, we were incredibly jet-lagged because I had the brilliant idea of not sleeping until our second flight from Tokyo to DC. The plan kind of worked, except for the fact that we had the most painful four hours of a layover. On the bright side, we got to eat Ramen in Tokyo and get a few (thousand) yen.

The flight from Tokyo to DC was about 13 hours, of which I slept about 6 hours. Needless to say, by the time we got to Dulles International Airport, I did not want to wait in line with Alexander, my non-American husband, for over an hour when I could have been out in less than half that time. But I waited with him, like a dutiful wife.

After we collected our luggage of two checked bags we decided to rent a car to get to our final destination in DC. Once there, we resisted the temptation to immediately sleep after our 24-hour trip and made some delicious burritos instead. Then we slept.

Continue to part two.